Yeah, I moved in this weekend.
Things have been.... hectic.
Between cockroaches all over the damn planet down here and not meshing well with some folks, plus being stressed every minute of the day, missing my family, feeling hopeless a lot of the time, drained for money, energy, and ODDLY ENOUGH, FREEDOM... It's been difficult.
But a lot of great things are GOING to happen! I know it! It's why I chose this school. There have been awesome glimmers of hope here and there. I'm just having a very, very difficult time adjusting. The fact that I left my anxiety meds at home has also REALLY been a problem. My mom is having them shipped to me ASAP. But other than that-
I guess I was really convinced I'd feel comfortable in my skin here, but it's just not happening yet. Like, how could I feel out of place in a school full of kids more similar to me than kids at my high school...? I just don't understand. So yeah, the transition is really, really hard. But I have a lot of HOPE. And I ain't dropping out, even if I'm uncomfortable. I came here to accomplish something and make my dream come true. Through all of the cockroaches, not liking a lot of people, and feeling out of place as well as broke 24/7 despite all the commissions (btw thanks so much y'all), it's worth it for this dream.
It's odd. It's very, very hard to befriend me here in "real life." I'm accustomed to the internet, the place where friends who are VERY MUCH LIKE YOU in MORE WAYS THAN ONE are basically filtered your way. I'm going to try to remain open minded and friendly. I'm just uncomfortable around EVERYONE right now. When I find a new really close pal, it just clicks like fucking nothing happened but we just CLICK well. That hasn't happened here yet. I gotta give it time, I suppose. I've always been an incredibly independent person, so I need to get my shit together, suck it up, and take care of myself. That include social needs.
Fuck.. Anyway, commissions are starting up now. I'm CLOSING THEM until I finish the current group of them. Thanks so much, everyone!
Watching: American Horror Story
Playing: Hunter: The Vigil